Ever heard the maxim, “Forgive and Forget?” Not so easy is it? We never really forget anything especially something negative? Negative things seem to hang on longer don’t they? However there needs to be a time when you put that past indiscretion behind you and live in the moment. There must be a time when you forgive until one day you find yourself with no friends and many enemies.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Which of these two actions would you prefer? Every morning when you wake up you would immediately be reminded of some past indiscretion and start your day being upset and angry or every morning when you wake up you would wake up refreshed, smile, and be excited about what you will accomplish and all the people you will help? If you have a hard time answering this question you and I have a lot of work to do.
Forgiveness is a greater gift to yourself than to the person you forgive. You have a choice every morning to start fresh by not letting the past creep into the present. To live in the moment and have your future be bright and beautiful.
In doing this you let go of anxiety, anger and fear and release the toxins those thoughts create in your body. Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Sure, it’s easy to find justification for not forgiving someone for something you believe they deliberately did to hurt you. But allowing this injustice to live in your head is like giving someone the freedom to come into your home and trash it each day. These thoughts just eat away at you. It does not affect the other person in the slightest.
Negative thoughts eat away at your life, your happiness and your peace. How many days, weeks, months, years or decades have you been poisoning yourself? Do you want to continue doing that?
I can tell you firsthand that forgiveness is freedom. Like you I have been hurt by my parents, by my sibling, by my children, by my friends, by my coworkers, and even acquaintances. Mind you some of these were just off-the-cuff remarks, some were deliberate assertions even if they were done jokingly and some were just my perception. Yet I allowed them to live in my head, free of charge for years. The only thing that I got from holding onto those thoughts and experiences was upset, which contributes to ill health. FREEDOM is letting go and truly healing yourself!
Understand that these memories don’t go away I just don’t let them control me. When I finally learned to let it go and to forgive them and myself I became free, happier, lighter, and at peace. There is a saying that goes this way. Let it go, let it be, and let God (handle the situation).
Do you want to be more relaxed and anxiety free today? Say yes, then every time a thought comes to you about someone who hurt you say I forgive you, mean it and let it go. Get on with your life and be positive.
This will take practice, but I guarantee you that if you say, “I forgive you” and really mean it you will feel a lightness come over you like never before. You will no longer be handcuffed to the past and you will be free to live in the present.
HEALTHY loving relationships are not possible without forgiveness! You cannot have a loving and rewarding relationship with anyone, much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to negative things that happened in the past. Regardless of the situation, making peace with past partners, parents, children, boss or anyone who you think may have “done you wrong” is the only way to improve your chances of a “healthy” relationship with yourself or anyone else for that matter!
One more time, who is it that immediately comes to mind who harmed you? Are you willing to truly forgive him or her? If you said “Yes” then say I forgive you. Now tell me how do you feel? Do this until you really forgive, then you will be free. Perhaps the next time you speak to them you will have a better conversation. Perhaps now is the time to call.
“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” – Marianne Williamson